today was one of those days where you realize too many things at once, everything starts to fall into place. but it hits too hard and all you're left with is an anxious feeling that sits right in between your stomach and your heart.on edge all day, until something happens and you finally let it all go and evaporate into nothing.
it was also one of those days where you're perfectly content with being alone, and some of the things you do routinely and tediously, suddenly become the best things in the world, you notice things you were too blind to see before.

my so called life reminds me of when i had an actual family, you know the kind that involves 3 or more people under one roof. that memory was almost gone, or so it seems.
sometimes i wish so badly that i didn't care as much as i do, about polotics or anything of that nature. in a way i envy closed minded people, seems like they have it so much easier, not caring. although, taking the easy way out just isn't much of a challenge.

i really wish i was a lot closer to a few people, some more than others. i'm losing two of the closest friends i've ever had merely because of this extraordinary thing called the ocean, it gets in my way sometimes. it's not my fault if i can't be there. i don't understand why people don't put more effort into seeing things from other's perspectives, it would help so much.

i'm going to try and concentrate more on things that are actually going to be of benefit to me in the future, like school, and not spend 90% of my time on things that will never amount to anything.
there really is something depressing about sundays, i think it's because all it really is, is procrastinating monday. noone wants to come to terms with the fact that school/work does start tomorrow, whether you want it to or not. i know i'd rather pretend it doesn't, and that i don't actually have to wake up in 4 hours and drag myself into the shower once again.

"i, i held her hand so tight
cuz words don't come out right
and she sees things at night.
me, i'm closer to the door
i don't get scared no more
but i don't know the score.
if i could hold them in my hand,
i'd make them understand
i'm not a haunted mind, i'm not a thoughtless kind."

Currently Playing Big Red Letter Day By Buffalo Tom Late at night see related